Can't we ever get a break?

We had our second ultrasound yesterday at 7w5d. It didn't go well.

There's a heartbeat, but it's slow (around 50 bpm). And it's grown, but only a little (measuring 6w3d +/- 4 days.

My ob thinks that my immune system is killing it and/or it's another chromosonally abnormal embryo. So we did an emergency Intralipid infusion (conveniently, his office started doing them about 6 months ago), and we'll go back for another ultrasound on Thursday to see if the heart rate has picked up. If it has, we're not out of the woods, but it would be a sign that the immune suppression worked and is helping. But the embryo could still be abnormal.

Our doctor gave a 50% likelihood that the Intralipid will help. Honestly, I suspect that's optimistic.

It would sure be nice to catch a break one of these days. I almost hope that it's another abnormal embryo so that we don't have to add concerns about my body killing off embryos to the list of problems we have to confront. Isn't that awful?

I'm on bed rest, and double doses of dexamethasone and Lovenox until the ultrasound tomorrow. Trying to just be, and not sink into this too much. There's a chance things will look better tomorrow.

We were worried about the timing of this pregnancy, since we knew we'd be finding out about any issues right before Christmas. I wish we weren't right about that.