Friday, September 9, 2011


We met our donor today.

I don't think I've mentioned here that this would be part of our process. The FDA requires donations to be open donations in certain situations; in our case it's because our donor was born abroad.

We wouldn't have chosen an open donation, and it turns out the donor wouldn't have either, but we were all willing.

I'm glad I met her.

She looks like she could be my sister. We have very similar coloring and build. She's prettier than in her (pretty) profile photos.

She was quite reserved. It's clear that while her desire to donate comes from a charitable place, the relationship is a transactional one. But there were a few moments where she became more energetic -- all around things (likes/dislikes, personality traits) that we have in common. She didn't have any questions for us, we had a few for her. And I told her a few anecdotes about us, and about IVF, which hopefully were helpful.

It's funny, beforehand I wouldn't have said I wanted any sort of ongoing relationship, but having met her I would have been willing to do that if she had wanted it. Which she doesn't. I'm fine with that, it was just interesting to find her an appealing person.

As the therapist who did our psych consult pointed out, it will be a better story for our child(ren) that we've met our donor. And it was hugely reassuring to feel like she was well represented on paper, since there's an enormous leap of faith you take when making a decision based on an entry in a donor database.

This afternoon she has her medical screening appointment, and it'll take up to 2-3 weeks for all the bloodwork to come back. In the meantime, assuming her ultrasound looks good, she'll go on birth control so we sync up cycle-wise, and then hopefully in late September she'll start stims.

In case anyone is facing a similar requirement, the agency required a 3rd party to be present, so the woman who handled our donor contract facilitated, which mostly meant sitting in the room and occasionally asking curious questions.

One more hurdle overcome!