Those of you who follow me on twitter already know that yesterday we were told our lone embryo had failed to develop into a blastocyst.
Grr.
Not surprising, knowing the statistics on how these things work, but certainly disappointing.
And it's making us think very very seriously about stopping any attempt to use my eggs and just go straight to a donor.
We can get our money back for the unused embryo banking cycles and if we choose, apply it to a donor cycle (or get a refund and work with a local clinic for the donor cycle so I don't have to travel).
I'm leaning that way right now, and my husband is comfortable with whatever I decide (although we had an emotional chat last night that showed how frustrated and impatient he is with the journey; as am I!) I mean, we can get $10,000 back from our current plan, and avoid spending $10-$15k on meds for the two cycles. That $20-$25k goes a long way to paying for a donor cycle (likely $30-40k depending on the donor fee.)
If we decide to start the donor process, we would move as quickly as possible, so hopefully cycle in September or October. I'd love to hear agency recommendations from anyone on the West Coast - we'd either be cycling in the Bay Area or in Vegas.
ps: my Vegas post got to #14 on Google for a search on "vegas ivf", although it's currently at #16 and will likely sink from there. Hee! Thanks for all the nice comments on it - I'm glad it's helpful for folks.
My husband and I started trying to have a baby in 2007. We ended up doing 5 rounds of IVF with our own eggs, miscarrying twice due to chromosomal abnormalities, and then moved to donor eggs. Our son was born in 2012. After two unexplained miscarriages trying for a sibling, we found a gestational surrogate, who carried our second son (2015) and our daughter (2018).
I am sorry :(
ReplyDeleteHave you looked into the clinics around you? The ones around us all have their own egg and embryo donor programs making them more affordable than national agencies. Just a thought.
xo
How frustrating that you have to wait for the embies to blastify before banking them. I, for one, in three cycles, have never had anything become a blast outside of me. This is why so many people do Day 3 transfers! Sigh. I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this disappointment. I'm glad that you and your husband are able to be on the same page--that's big and not a given. A lot to think about, but I now you two will decide together what feels best.
ReplyDeleteHi there. I hope you don't mind that I added you as we are currently undergoing fertility issues. Sad news. I completely understand the emotional chats, but I think we're both equally frustrated/impatient with the journey.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry.
ReplyDeleteThe clinic we went through out here was amazing. I had a shared donor cycle and it was cheaper than solo donor cycle. I wish I could help you with a donor website or bank, but my RE helped us find our donor.
I wish you the best. ((HUGS))
I am soo soo soo sorry Braving IVF. Sounds like you are already wading into the DE pool...take it slow...I can vouch for how wonderful DE is...but its not easy to accept at first. Make sure you take time to grieve. Right here along with you for whatever you choose.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry, I don't know about DE agencies, but there are many clinics that have in house donors. I know that making the leap into DEis huge and scary and terriby emotional, but one you make the decision, you won't turn back.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. :( It's a big step to move to an egg donor, but it sounds like you're look at it sensibly and with an open mind. It must be really hard, though, and I'll be thinking of you as you transition yourself into this new path.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. I know how frustrating and saddening it is to be waiting for days to find out the status of your embryo, only to be disappointed. It is heartwrenching and heartbreaking. I am right with you on this journey and supporting you every step of the way! xoxo
ReplyDeleteI am so incredibly sorry. I missed this on Twitter, and I'm sad to read this now. :( I don't know much about DE, but I'll be here to support you on your next steps in this journey.
ReplyDeleteBig (((hugs)))
Oh how frustrating, I'm so sorry that there aren't any embies left. I think it's a great idea to think about donor eggs. I have no advice or help, but will be supporting you every step of the way!
ReplyDeleteI've been away so I'm just catching up on your blog now.
ReplyDeleteI'm so so sorry. I wish I had words to make it better. You are going to be a wonderful mother one day. Just think of all the patience you've had to acquire already.
I have friends in Portland, Oregon who did donor cycles here- not sure if those would be helpful to you. Let me know if so.
Wishing you the best, as always. xxx
So sorry to hear your news. How incredibly frustrating! Good luck with your decision on next steps.
ReplyDeleteI'm really sorry that your one egg didn't make it to blast stage. What a disappointment, despite knowing that the odds weren't as high as you would hope. Wishing you well in your decision making re: donor eggs.
ReplyDeleteIt hurts when it all goes down. It really hurts for a while. I am sorry it fell apart.
ReplyDeleteI am impressed with the options the clinic will offer you in changing your game plan. Options are what make it all feel better.
If you end up DE, I have nothing but time for you. I can share anything from my side that might help you out.
Considering agencies - ask your RE for a recommendation. I did, but still felt the need to scour the internet in case they "missed one". The ones I "found" were not worth my time. Trust the recommendation your RE offers. I am glad I did and wish I hadnt invested so much time casing the others out. They really do not compare.
I found your blog through a couple others I read, and when I read that you are seriously considering donor egg IVF, I felt compelled to comment.
ReplyDeleteIf you would consider traveling to Vegas or the Bay Area, might I suggest San Diego? I am currently pregnant following my first DE IVF cycle at San Diego Fertility Center, and I can't say enough good things about them. Their success rates are among the highest in the nation--84% for fresh and 69% for frozen cycles, according to the 2009 SART report--and the care we received there was outstanding.
SDFC also has an in-house donor pool which would eliminate the cost of using an agency to find a donor if you could find someone suitable.
Just my $.02. Good luck with whatever you decide.
I'm so sorry. :( I am wishing you the best of luck with your upcoming cycles if you still choose to go with DE.
ReplyDeleteYou were on my mind. Hoping things are settling in a bit.
ReplyDeleteI am new to your blog - just starting my own infertility journey following a miscarriage and a diagnosis of DOR.
ReplyDeleteI have a friend in San Francisco who went to the Pacific Fertility Center and used an egg donor with success.
I wish you luck!