Friday, March 28, 2014

Not that horse...

(Subject is a reference to my last post, Back on the Horse.)

Sorry for the delay. The last FET didn't work - BFN (beta was 2, so annoyingly my RE had me do a second beta to make sure it didn't rise). So we only have one XX embryo left.

High stakes.  We console ourselves with the thought that very few people know ahead of time the sex of their baby. But oh, we'd so like to have a little girl. I even bought a few little girl clothes when I was pregnant in the fall...

We're doing everything we can - we convinced my RE to do an endometrial scratch - he usually only does them as part of retrieval (since transfers at his clinic are all FETs due to CGH) and thus not for later FETs or donor recipients. But he did it for me (under sedation). Maybe he'll start doing it regularly - the way we managed our donor cycle changed the way the clinic handles all patients: CGH screening, and single embryo transfers of normal embryos.

Last cycle my immunology results came back normal so we didn't do an intralipid. This time, we're doing an intralipid regardless - that's scheduled for next Friday.

I had the scratch on March 8. The FET is scheduled for April 8. I started estradiol last Friday. DH is traveling again, but this time he's only missing two shots. Last cycle he was gone until the night before transfer, so I did nearly all of my estradiol and progesterone IM shots myself.

It took 3 transfers of perfect embryos to get pregnant with C. My RE says this third one will work. I'm scared the pregnancy in the fall was the one of three that worked...


I'm generally not all that focused on this FET, however. It's the subject of late night conversations in bed before we go to sleep, but my days are filled with C.

He's a joy. He's a solid walker - in the past few days he's started walking like an adult, with his legs under him, instead of toddling with a wide stance. He has a few words now. 'Nana' for banana, and 'cheeeeze' for cheese. He still doesn't say Mama or Dada with intent, although occasionally when he's annoyed he'll converse with himself and I often hear 'mama' in those diatribes. New signs are 'music' and 'up'. I sing him the alphabet song after we read books before nap and bedtime, and after we're done with books he signs for 'music' so I sing. He really loves music - as soon as he's up in the morning he'll ask for music to be turned on. At the playground he's much more active - clambers up steps in the climbing structure and knows how to hold onto railings while he climbs. He doesn't like slides - hasn't figured out how to stay sitting while sliding down, but enjoys swings as long as it's not too high.

He's still not eating meat, except in combination with other things (ham in beans, or chicken in soup). He loves beans and rice. We moved off thinkbaby sippy cup tops and are now on straw bottles. He's not very good with an open cup but I'm trying to mix it in so he gets practice. He's great with a fork, but not so hot with a spoon unless I'm helping.

I'm solo parenting for the next 5 days, so wish me luck. :)


  1. I'm so sorry to hear about your FET. Hoping lucky #3 does the trick. We are just embarking on donor eggs. Just curious what clinic you go to? Also what is a CGH?

    1. We use the Zouves Fertility Center in Northern California.

    2. And CGH is comparative genomic hybridization - one of the methods for testing the chromosomes of the embryo to make sure they're normal.

  2. I'm sorry to hear the FET didn't work. I hope your next FET is the lucky one!

  3. Oh crud! I was hoping your silence meant that you had an important secret to share. That just stinks it didn't work out, but wow - you're ready for the next one in just a week. That's exciting. It's good that you're able to put it in perspective, that it took three transfers to get to your baby and it could be the same for #2. Here's hoping. I'm scheduled for FET #3 tomorrow so happy to wait with you :) and fingers crossed that lucky #3 is it for both of us.

  4. Hi, I'm really sorry to hear about your struggle. Would you like me to send a printed copy of my book in case there's something in there that helps you next time around ? (You might have seen Jessah's post about it last week). Really hoping to help everyone out there going through the same difficult times. You can reach me at my fullname at gmail if you're interested...
    Fingers crossed for you!

  5. I'm so sorry about your mc in November and the failed FET's. Your attitude about it all is so inspiring. Glad to see you're back on the horse. I am as well. We only have 2 embryo's from Sophie's cycle. So this is likely it for us. Debating on whether to put both in at once or do them separately.

    1. I don't recall if you did genetic testing on your embryos? We do one at a time since the embryos are normal and we're eager to avoid twins. Good luck to you!