Friday, October 30, 2015

Sorry it's taken so long... He's here!

Apologies for the two week delay...

Baby R was born on Thursday, October 15!

Our surrogate had a midwife appointment on Wednesday, October 14 and she was 3cm dilated and her bag of waters was very low, so her midwife sent her to labor and delivery and broke her bag of waters. This gave us time to drive up (about a 90 minute drive, with no traffic) and then hang out with her and her husband for about 12 hours until she was fully dilated. Once she was fully dilated, he was out in two pushes (less than 10 minutes after full dilation!)

The hospital was amazing - all the nurses were informed about the surrogacy and really excited for us. They were universally excited that I had induced lactation. And we were discharged 18 hours after R was born. (Our surrogate was discharged the next day.)

I was given R as soon as he was delivered, and held him while the cord stopped pulsing. Once it was cut, I nursed him while our surrogate delivered the placenta and got a few stitches. About 45 minutes later, DH gave him a bath and the baby nurse took his measurements.

My milk supply never got great - being horribly sick for two weeks before R was born definitely hurt me. But I was able to feed him exclusively my milk for the first week (fresh + frozen stash) and now he's on a mix of my milk (both direct and pumped), generously shared milk from a friend (thanks, Jamie!), pumped milk from my surrogate, and fancy organic formula from Europe. We're doing as much breastmilk as possible for as long as possible, and supplement with formula as needed.

One perk to using a bottle immediately is that DH has been able to be incredibly helpful. He's done more feeds and changed more diapers than I have, since our preschooler C is very attached to me. C is very sweet with R - gives him little kisses on the head and exclaims over his tiny fingers and toes and nose, but spent a few days asking for cuddles every time I nursed. That seems to have passed, and in fact C was 'feeding his bunny' yesterday by laying his stuffed animal rabbit in his lap and pulling his shirt up (and telling the rabbit not to bite). Lol!

We had our two week pediatrician appointment today and all looks good. We were back above birth weight a week after his was born (it helped that I had milk immediately), but his days and nights are switched so even though we don't have to wake him up at night to feed him, he wakes up pretty frequently on his own. I'm looking forward to days and nights sorting themselves out - he sleeps like a champ during the day. :)

Bonding has been different than with C. DH is madly in love, but I don't have those strong feelings yet.  I think it'll change more dramatically when he can connect with me and react to my presence. It's odd to be able to compare the two experiences. I will say that it's a heck of a lot easier to manage a newborn and the related sleep deprivation when you don't have a physical recovery to get through. Silver linings!


  1. So glad he's here. Enjoy every minute Mama!

  2. Congratulations on your new arrival! It must take quite a bit of adjustment for the whole family, but you'll find your groove soon enough. Enjoy these special first few weeks together.

  3. Aw, he tells his bunny not to bite? That is freaking adorable! Congrats, Mama!

  4. Hi! Thank you for this blog. I really enjoy reading it! I have PCOS and unfortunately treatment didn't work at all. So the only solution was using donor eggs. Now I'm in the very beginning of the process. My dh and I just came back from Ukraine. We use clinic there,biotexcom. It was our second visit. We had sperm pick-up, fertilization of donor’s eggs and embryos transfer into my uterine cavity. I'm very nervous. We have 5 attempts of ivf with donor egg. In case of failure of all 5 tries, the clinic pays money back. But I really want and hope this attempt will be successful. I can't wait to do pregnancy test! Wish me luck!

  5. This comment has been removed by the author.